Author Archives: jrselvarajah

I don’t have any game. None. I am the sidewalk before someone draws the hopscotch on it. Once, I locked eyes with a guy I had never met, smiled and uttered the word “Hi!” and he immediately responded with “You’re… A LOT!” I am So Much. Like I am So A Lot. Something I oftenContinue reading “On Being Hard to Love…”

A Church, A Bar and A Car Up until I was 16, essentially every space I found myself in was religious in one way or another. A church. A Bible study. A private Christian school. I wasn’t really allowed to venture outside the Protestant sphere.  Religious meant “sacred”. The problem was: those spaces never feltContinue reading “On Sacred Spaces…”

You know in the movies when they do a flashback to someone’s childhood? There’s a particular lighting and it’s in slow motion. Always in some grass field. There’s a child running around without a care in the world playing with daisies. I always wondered why White people left their children to roam alone in fieldsContinue reading “On Ranjini Aunty…”

I am in therapy because duh. A few months ago, my therapist and I figured out that most of what I do is based on what I believe I owe my fellow man. So, my homework for that week was to try and make a list of what I owe myself. A Break I wasContinue reading “On What We Owe Ourselves…”

This is an intentional clickbait title because I am shameless. If my pastor and/or employer is reading this…I hope you’re not suffering too big of a heart attack right now; I’ll be nice, I promise. COVID … IS A GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY!!! Jk jk jk. We have entered the 3rd year of a global pandemic. IContinue reading “On Vaccines & Covid…”

A special post written by my big sister! 🙂 Hair and feelings I have often heard that having a child forces one to reckon with their past traumas and current triggers. I was ready for the things I had prepared for (the mother wound, imposter syndrome, overall new mom pressure etc…). What I was notContinue reading “On Hair…”

Last night, the Habs secured their spot in the Stanley cup finals. The last time this happened, I was 2. While they were securing that spot, I had the great privilege of having dinner & celebrating the last 5 years of someone I hold close to my heart who just graduated. While the Habs wereContinue reading “On The Residential “Schools”, Patriotism & Nationalism…”

An open letter to past (specifically) and present board/staff at Emmanuel Christian School, I attended Emmanuel Christian School from 6th grade until I graduated high school in 2008. When I started Sec 1, I remember my brother and his best friend (both Emmanuel Alum) taking me out of school for lunch one day. I wasContinue reading “On Accountability…”

Most job applications have a portion on the questionnaire that references sexes and minorities. In my early years, I would never fill those boxes because I didn’t want to be hired for those reasons alone. How terrible would I feel if one day I found out that the only reason I got a job wasContinue reading “On Being Qualified…”

A couple and their small child lived in a tiny studio apartment in an old, dingy building. They had only the basics in their home: some chairs, just enough food and a bed they all shared. They were content. The mother looked out the window into another building and saw a family throwing a party!Continue reading “On Dreaming Big…”