Author Archives: jrselvarajah

…Well, not for the reasons we think. (Your Skillset + Hard Work) x Time = Your Success That’s the formula. Easy enough right? I was taught this my whole life. IF I work hard, THEN I’ll become successful! That’s the pursuit of happiness, yeah? Remember that Will Smith movie? Featuring little Will Smith? He wasContinue reading “On Why Hard Work Doesn’t Matter…”

FRIENDS! A more personal blog today 🙂Today marks the official 4 year anniversary of the church I serve at. Yesterday, my pastor gave me a call on his very precious day off and it reminded me of why I serve at my place of worship and I thought I would share… Things That Matter AfterContinue reading “On Why I Serve at Church…”

I often get slack from some of my friends because I frequently invite wildcards to hang outs. A wildcard means – someone I’ve only recently met or, someone we know but isn’t as close to the group or just someone who is kind of annoying to be around. My friends are great but I usuallyContinue reading “On Building Community…”

Martin Luther King Jr.’s life matters. It matters as much as Trayvon Martin’s, Malcolm X’s , Eric Garner’s, Botham Jean’s, Tamir Rice’s, George Floyd’s, Alton Sterling’s, Ahmaud Arbery’s and Breonna Taylor’s. It matters as much as my best friend Brittany’s, my bank advisor – Cody’s, my high school principal – Jean’s and my brother-in-law –Continue reading “Scattered Thoughts on Black Lives Matter”

Do you remember the first time you compared yourself to someone else? It probably happened when you were really young. Maybe it was the birth of your first sibling. Maybe you were at a get together or at school. Wherever you were, you were used to being the only one. Good or bad – thereContinue reading “First Time’s a Charm! …Hopefully”

Pictured above: A grainy ass selfie of me in 2013 on a day I felt I looked good but not good enough to post because I didn’t want to be “that girl” My friend LOVES Kanye West. Besides that one time he called me to get approval for a song, I don’t know much aboutContinue reading “Kanye and Cuddles”

“What was the best and the worst part of your week?” This is my go to question. Life is full of ups and downs and I believe the only way to really live is to fully embrace both. I asked a friend of mine this a few days ago, to which she replied: “I thinkContinue reading “Why I Stopped Going to Church but Should Consider Going Back”

As a child, I would complain about having to go to funerals. It was uncomfortable. I never knew the person that passed, but had to make an appearance. My dad used to say “we’re not going for the dead, we’re going to support the living”. Today I got news that someone I had the privilegeContinue reading “RIP Jean”

I started reading Amy Poehler’s book “Yes Please” and this morning I read the chapter on apologizing. She chronicles the story of being part of a seemingly offensive SNL sketch and writing a letter of apology 5 YEARS after the fact. If someone has hurt me or I’ve hurt them, I want it dealt with rightContinue reading “On Saying You’re Sorry…”

I feel like there’s an idea going around the men folk that you qualify as “good” because you don’t beat or rape or harass or catcall women. Congratulations! You passed the test of BASIC human decency! Here’s the thing – you don’t get points for the things you DON’T do. What makes a man aContinue reading “Boys to Men”