Kanye and Cuddles

Pictured above: A grainy ass selfie of me in 2013 on a day I felt I looked good but not good enough to post because I didn’t want to be “that girl”

My friend LOVES Kanye West. Besides that one time he called me to get approval for a song, I don’t know much about him. I just know he is a rapper who thinks he is the greatest being of all time. I asked her to explain this love to me once, to which she replied “When I was in high school, I remember listening to Kanye West and learning to love myself the way he loves HIMSELF and it really helped me!” So, let me tell you about a man I work with that I call “Kanye” but here, I will call him… Mr.Cuddles.

Mr.Cuddles is excellent at his job. He wins awards for how good he is at his job. Someone once wrote an article about how good he is at his job. He is known for 2 things: being the best and believing he is the best. Mr.Cuddles feels that he is a gift to us all. He walks and talks like he owns the place. He’s obnoxiously loud and sometimes rude. He can be really stuck up and off putting. I used to think “I NEVER WANT TO BE THAT GUY”. Today it hit me: I could stand to be a little more Kanye and Cuddles. This week is the first week of school for many. My Facebook is flooded with parents posting pictures of their babies all growned up. On my way to work, I’m surrounded by angsty teens taking up too much room on the metro/bus and I can’t help but think of myself when I was that age. I was brave – but not confident. I forced myself to do or say things though deep down, I was an insecurity bomb ready to explode. I knew I would never be pretty enough or smart enough or funny enough (jk I’ve always known I’m a comedic genius) or cool enough or athletic enough and if anyone caught on, my life would be over. I faked it til I made it! Every day was a victory because I had fooled the world (and myself) into thinking that I was great and I felt great. I’m 25 and I STILL do that. I’m in a much better place than I was growing up, but I’m still just brave – not so confident.

We’re all worried about being “too” self-assured. We’re afraid it will come off as showy or cocky. We think it might backfire and people will perceive our confidence as some kind of masked insecurity because our dads didn’t hug us enough (my dad hugs me sometimes ok relax you don’t even know him like that…). I think if we all learned to GENUINELY love ourselves just a little more, we would be better off. Kanye West and Mr.Cuddles are not actually the best. There are far better men/women than them in their domains around the world. Though they don’t broadcast that information, and sometimes even state the opposite, I trust they are aware of that sobering fact. Yet, I feel that in their heart of hearts, they love themselves. I don’t think they’re secretly hiding the teardrops on their guitars or that they actually feel empty inside. I believe that at some point, they genuinely believed the best in themselves and are holding onto that for as long as they can. No, I don’t want to live in a sea of actual Yeezys. There is such a thing as too much ego (Trump2016). Self-reflection and self-awareness are healthy habits. But I think the majority of us are going through a deficit. So here is my hope for myself, you and your offspring, sweet friends…Embrace the Kanye in you

If you feel good about yourself, don’t pretend like you don’t. If you’re good at what you do, own it! If you feel like you look good and want the world to see it – post that ish! Wake up tomorrow, do the WonderWoman stance in front of a mirror, take in the life you have been given and believe that you are your best self. Believe that you are enough, and probably more. Don’t just be brave, be confident! Be Cuddles! Be Kanye!

“…And humility is an important quality, especially if you’re wrong a lot. Of course, when you’re right, self-doubt doesn’t help anybody, does it?” – House M.D., Se1Ep09 DNR

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